Evil Squirell's
Today evil mutant squirells attacked a small vilage near bastardham. they slaughter all that lived there. the army has lunched an anti squirell attack force to eradicate the threat the the general public. the squirells are belived to be armed with AK47,MP5 and RPG's. the government are warning the public if they see any mass movement of squirells to contact the authoraties stright away.
Deadly Doughnuts
Doughnuts have been reported as killing 54 police officers. Police have responded with extreme force murdering 454,246 doughnuts in a mass frenzy.